When Your Ex Denies You Time with Your Child
As a parent, your time with your child is invaluable. But what happens when your ex refuses to let you see them – despite a legal custody order saying you can? Maybe they make excuses, cancel plans at the last minute, or ignore your messages altogether. It’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking. And most of all, it feels unfair.
Visitation interference is a frustrating reality for many parents in Virginia, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. This guide explains how Virginia custody laws protect your rights, what steps you can take to enforce visitation, and when legal action may be the best path forward.
Virginia Custody Laws: Your Rights & How to Enforce Them
Under Virginia Code § 20-124.2 and § 20-124.3, custody and visitation orders are legally binding arrangements – not flexible guidelines. Once a Virginia court approves a parenting plan, both parents are required to comply.
Types of Custody in Virginia
- Legal Custody: The right to make important decisions about a child’s education, healthcare, and religious upbringing.
- Physical Custody: Where the child primarily resides and how parenting time is divided.
- Visitation (Parenting Time): A legally structured schedule ensuring the non-custodial parent has regular access to their child.
Refusing to follow a custody order can lead to court enforcement actions, fines, jail, or modifications to custody and visitation.
Key Takeaway: If your ex is preventing visitation, you have legal options to enforce your rights and protect your relationship with your child.
When a Parent Violates a Custody Order
Visitation interference can manifest in various ways, including:
- Consistent Excuses: The custodial parent habitually presents reasons to prevent scheduled visits, such as claiming the child is ill without valid documentation.
- Sudden Schedule Changes: Unilaterally altering visitation times or locations without mutual agreement.
- Outright Refusal: Denying access to the child during your designated visitation period.
Under Virginia law, such actions are taken seriously. The courts prioritize the child's best interests, which typically include maintaining strong relationships with both parents. Interference with visitation not only disrupts this balance but also undermines the court's authority.
How to Enforce Your Visitation Rights in Virginia
If your ex is refusing to follow the custody order and denying you visitation, here’s what you can do:
Keep Detailed Records
Start documenting every instance of missed visits, canceled plans, and excuses. Be sure to:
- Save all communications, including text messages, emails, and voicemails.
- Keep a detailed log of each denied visit, noting the date, time, and reason given.
- Gather witness statements from family members, caregivers, or others who can confirm visitation issues.
Why This Matters: Courts rely on documented evidence to enforce custody orders. Keeping thorough records strengthens your case.
Try to Resolve It Informally (If Possible)
If the visitation issues are inconsistent but not severe, direct communication may help. Consider:
- Speaking calmly and directly: "I’ve noticed that the last few visits didn’t happen as scheduled. Can we work together to get back on track?"
- Sending a written reminder: "Just confirming I’ll be picking up [child’s name] this Friday at 6 PM as per our agreement."
Pro Tip: Focus on cooperation, not blame. If your ex refuses to communicate or continues to interfere, it may be time to take the next step.
Consider Mediation
If your ex is unwilling to cooperate, a court-appointed mediator can help settle disputes without litigation.
- Why This Helps: Mediation is quicker and less expensive than court. Judges prefer parents to attempt mediation first before filing legal motions.
Exception: If your ex is outright blocking visitation, skip mediation and file a contempt motion.
File a Contempt Motion
If informal efforts fail, file a Motion for Show Cause in Virginia court. This forces your ex to explain why they are violating the custody order. Possible outcomes typically include:
- Court-ordered make-up time for missed visits
- Fines or penalties against the violating parent
- Modification of custody if interference continues
Virginia courts take repeat violations seriously. If your ex refuses to follow the order, legal enforcement may be necessary.
Modify Custody (If Violations Persist)
If the other parent continues violating the order, ask the court to modify custody. Judges in Virginia will consider:
- Consistent visitation denial
- Parental alienation (attempts to turn the child against you)
- Severe interference (relocation without permission, hiding the child, etc.)
Outcome: A judge may transfer custody to the compliant parent if they determine it’s in the child’s best interests.
Why Legal Support is Key
Family law courts are complex. A Virginia Beach custody lawyer can help by:
- Filing enforcement motions correctly (to avoid delays)
- Presenting clear evidence of violations to strengthen your case
- Advocating for modifications if needed
Example Scenario: If your ex has denied visitation for months, a Virginia family law attorney can file an emergency enforcement motion – ensuring you get immediate relief instead of waiting through lengthy court delays.
Without an attorney, delays and paperwork errors can slow down your case. Having legal guidance speeds up enforcement and ensures the best possible outcome.
Virginia Custody Lawyer: Protect Your Parental Rights & Enforce Visitation Today with The Law Office of Laura L. McQuesten
If your ex is refusing to follow a Virginia custody order, you have legal options to protect your rights and maintain your relationship with your child. At The Law Office of Laura L. McQuesten, we help parents in Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Suffolk, and across southeastern Virginia enforce their visitation rights and ensure custody agreements are upheld.
757-720-7516 to schedule a confidential consultation and take the next step toward securing your time with your child.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For personalized legal assistance, please consult with a qualified attorney.