You've decided it's time to end your marriage, but your spouse is refusing to cooperate. Perhaps they won't sign the divorce papers, discuss a separation agreement, or even acknowledge that the marriage is over.
You might be wondering whether you can move forward without their cooperation. Can they stop you from getting divorced simply by refusing to participate?
In Virginia, your spouse cannot prevent a divorce just because they refuse to sign or agree to it. Their lack of cooperation can complicate the process, but you can still pursue a divorce through the court system when the legal requirements are met.
The next steps depend on whether your spouse refuses to sign paperwork, disputes the terms of the divorce, or ignores the court proceedings. Understanding those differences can help you determine how to move forward.
Do Both Spouses Have to Agree to a Divorce in Virginia?
No. Your spouse can disagree with your decision to end the marriage, but Virginia law does not require both spouses to consent before a court can grant a divorce.
Under Virginia Code § 20-91, you can seek a divorce when the applicable legal grounds have been established.
For many couples, this means pursuing a no-fault divorce after living separately for the required period:
- One year of separation: Generally required when the spouses do not qualify for the shorter separation period.
- Six months of separation: Available when the spouses have entered into a qualifying separation agreement and have no minor children born to both spouses, born to one and adopted by the other, or adopted by both.
If your spouse refuses to enter into a separation agreement, you generally cannot rely on the six-month option. But you can still pursue a no-fault divorce after a year of separation, provided the other legal requirements are satisfied.
For a no-fault divorce, the spouses must live separately without cohabitation or interruption for the applicable period. The separation must also reflect an intention by at least one spouse to end the marriage.
Virginia recognizes certain fault-based grounds for divorce as well, although those cases involve different requirements.
Additionally, at least one spouse generally must have been a Virginia resident and domiciliary for six months before the divorce is filed, subject to statutory provisions that include certain military circumstances.
What Happens if Your Spouse Won't Sign Divorce Papers?
If your spouse refuses to sign, the next steps depend on which documents they are refusing to sign and whether a divorce case has already been filed.
In Virginia, a divorce case generally begins when one spouse files a complaint for divorce in circuit court. The other spouse must receive legally sufficient notice of the proceedings, typically through formal service of process.
Your spouse does not have to voluntarily sign an acknowledgment of service for the case to proceed. If they refuse to accept the paperwork voluntarily, Virginia law provides other methods of serving the divorce complaint.
After being properly served, your spouse has an opportunity to respond and participate in the proceedings.
If they choose not to respond, the court can still consider the divorce under the applicable legal procedures. If they respond but dispute what you are requesting, those disagreements must be addressed.
The court process does not depend on your spouse voluntarily signing the divorce papers. What happens next depends on whether they participate in the case and whether any issues remain disputed.
What if Your Spouse Disagrees With the Divorce Terms?
Sometimes, the disagreement isn't about ending the marriage. Your spouse might accept that you're getting divorced but refuse to agree on important issues, including:
- How marital property and debts should be divided.
- Whether either spouse should receive spousal support.
- Custody and visitation arrangements for your children.
- How child support should be determined.
When spouses resolve these issues through an agreement, they can generally proceed with an uncontested divorce. If important matters remain unresolved, the divorce becomes contested, and those disputes can require negotiation or a court decision.
Your spouse does not have to agree on every matter for the divorce process to continue. But reaching a final resolution can take longer if the court must decide important financial or parenting matters.
Can You Get a Divorce if Your Spouse Ignores the Court Papers?
Yes. A divorce can proceed in Virginia even if your spouse does not respond after receiving legally sufficient notice of the case.
Your spouse's silence does not mean the divorce will be granted automatically. Under Virginia Code § 20-99, the court must independently consider the case even when the other spouse does not respond.
You still need to establish the legal grounds for divorce, and the court must have the authority to grant the relief you're requesting.
Proper service is especially important. If your spouse avoids being served or you do not know where they live, Virginia law provides alternative procedures for notifying them about the case.
Those procedures must be followed carefully. In some circumstances, a court can grant a divorce after notice by publication without having the authority to order the other spouse to pay support or other money. Whether the court can issue those financial orders depends on its legal authority over that spouse.
This means you should not assume that your spouse's failure to respond will resolve every issue in the divorce.
A Virginia Beach divorce attorney can review your circumstances, determine which service procedures apply, and explain what the court can address if your spouse does not participate.
Can Your Spouse's Refusal Delay the Divorce?
Yes. Although your spouse's cooperation is not required for a court to grant a divorce, disagreements and procedural issues can affect how long the process takes.
For example, your spouse might dispute when your separation began. If you're seeking a no-fault divorce, that disagreement can become important because the court must determine whether the required separation period has been satisfied.
Financial disputes can also take time to resolve. If your spouse refuses to provide information about income, retirement accounts, or marital assets, obtaining the necessary records can involve formal discovery and additional court proceedings.
The court's schedule and the complexity of the disputed issues can also affect the timeline.
These complications can extend the divorce timeline, but they do not necessarily prevent the case from moving forward.
Identifying what's causing the delay can help your attorney determine whether additional documentation, negotiation, or court involvement is needed to move the case toward resolution.
What Should You Do if Your Spouse Won't Cooperate With the Divorce?
If your spouse has made it clear that they will not cooperate, repeatedly asking them to sign or discuss the divorce might not accomplish much.
Instead, focus on preparing for the legal process and identifying which issues still need to be addressed.
- Document your separation timeline. Record when you began living separately and preserve information that helps establish the circumstances of your separation.
- Gather available financial records. Organize documents you can lawfully access concerning income, bank accounts, retirement assets, property, and debts.
- Preserve relevant communications. Keep messages or emails concerning the separation, financial arrangements, and your spouse's position on the divorce.
- Think carefully before accepting proposed terms. Agreeing to unfavorable financial or parenting arrangements simply to finish the divorce can have consequences long after the case ends.
- Discuss your options with a Virginia divorce attorney. An attorney can review your circumstances, identify what needs to be resolved, and explain the legal steps available when your spouse refuses to participate.
While you can’t control whether your spouse cooperates, you can take steps to prepare for the divorce and make informed decisions that protect your interests.
Moving Forward With Divorce When Your Spouse Won't Agree
You do not have to remain married simply because your spouse refuses to cooperate. But understanding the legal requirements, addressing unresolved issues, and preparing for the court process can make a meaningful difference in how you approach your divorce.
At The Law Office of Laura L. McQuesten, PLLC, we help clients in Virginia Beach and throughout Southeastern Virginia understand their rights, address disputed issues, and navigate the divorce process with clear, practical guidance.
If your spouse refuses to cooperate with your divorce, contact The Law Office of Laura L. McQuesten, PLLC to schedule a consultation and discuss your next steps.
Disclaimer: This blog is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice. Reading this content does not create an attorney-client relationship. For guidance regarding your specific legal matter, please contact an attorney in your jurisdiction to discuss your situation.